Relief From "Try Harder"

It's been about a month since I last posted. Honestly, I've really just been struggling with having anything to say.

Today was different. I participated in my favorite Sunday routine: helping with setup for the church, serving as a greeter, and enjoying an awesome service. I'm probably the least helpful person if you ask for a critique. I always leave church thinking, "That was awesome, I don't how next week could get better!" Next week rolls around and I say the same thing.

This afternoon I sat alone in my deserted office struggling to come up with anything to say, yet again. I had about three hours until my small group was supposed to meet and I had nothing. To be completely honest, my Sunday routine has started to include feeling completely inadequate right before I'm supposed to lead a group! If you've had the chance to know me at all or even read half the stuff I put on my blog, you've probably figured out that I don't have it all figured out!

As desperation started to creep in, I started looking for wisdom. One of my friends, who really meant well, simply said, "Pray about it and go with your gut." Oh yeah! Somehow that suggestion always makes me feel really dumb. Aren't I supposed to know that's what I'm supposed to do?

So I started praying and pretty much begging God for some direction. One idea from the day's sermon had really stuck with me: We take our eye's off Jesus when we believe in performance based affection. In other words, we believe that God's love for us is dependent on what we do or how we behave.

I'm guilty of this.

The thing is, I know the church answer. I know that God loved me even while I was still a sinner and that he sees me as a new creation. I know that I could never work my way to heaven! No matter how much I can repeat the church answers, there are still times where the root of my frustration comes from "trying harder."

I'm the girl that gets down on herself when she messes up. I say things like, "I really need to work harder to stop...." Or "If I only spent more time...." All of which center around making sure that I'm doing "my part" in the God relationship or at least fulfilling expectations (usually my own).

That was exactly what I needed to share with my small group. I know I can't possibly be the only one who struggles with that (usually when things are mentioned in a sermon, you can pretty much figure at least one other person does). I could fill up an entire blog with why this is an issue for me. I will spare you from that and instead share some things God spoke to me about through from the book of Philippians.

Check out chapter 2:12-18. My favorite part is how Paul points out that "it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."

God changes our actions and our desires through the power of the Holy Spirit to make us more like Christ and reflect his glory.

Now flip over a little and look at chapter 3:7-10. Paul just got finished listing out his religious accomplishments. His resume is quite impressive, but he says he sees everything as rubbish (or poo) "in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith"

Wow....

Paul recognized that his righteousness or the "good stuff" about him had nothing to do with him! In fact everything about him he counted a rubbish in order that he may gain Christ and the righteousness that comes through him! Don't miss that--> in order for us to really experience the righteousness that comes simply from knowing Christ, we have to get to a place where we recognize that everything "good" we've done (i.e, following the law) is completely worthless!

Before you start getting too depressed, just think a minute. In a world where we're constantly told to "try harder," God simply wants us to accept his free gift- an abundant life that is free from guilt of not measuring up and trying to make it on your own.

Last thing, look at chapter 3:12-16. Paul ends this thought so beautifully. Just when you're starting to think, "Gosh, I wish I could be like him and have it all together," He reminds us that he's not perfect either. God really reminded me of something tonight when I read verses 13 and 14:

 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

I love this. As someone who can reflect back with the best of them, I need to take these verses to heart. I can forget the mistakes of the past; those little sins that drive me crazy and cause me to give myself a guilt trip! Instead, we press on. We repent, and call on Jesus again. The thing we have to remember is that this is not us working harder the next time. This is us remembering that the Spirit of God lives in us and (back to chapter 2) is working in us to change our desires and our actions.

Are you staying in close contact with God? How does that affect the way you view sin in your life? What does it really mean for your righteousness to come through faith in Jesus? How can you remind yourself of this when you get back to the "try harder mentality?

Valentine's Day

I love Valentine's Day.

Having never been married or even had a serious boyfriend for that matter, it's probably not for the reasons you would think.

I know that "Singles Awareness Day" and "Anti-Valentine's Day" movements are in full swing, but as a single gal, I still LOVE Valentine's Day.

Without fail, God shows up on Valentine's Day and reminds me of some of the things he's blessed me with that I love. Last year, it was watching the Olympics at home with my family while it snowed outside! (Big deal in South Georgia). This year, I'm excited about getting my ticket for Guatemala! One of my good friends, who had the opportunity to intern at a children's home outside of Guatemala City for six months, is taking me back with her during Holy Week so we can minister to the children. I'm so excited! I can't wait to be there and help these kids celebrate Easter!

I was thinking about all this on the way to work this morning. God is so funny in the irony that today, Valentine's Day, is the day I'm finally going to finalize these plans! Maybe it's just because I'm more aware of it, but Valentine's Day has really become a day that I spend reflecting on how thankful I am for all the wonderful things in my life.

It's so easy for me to get distracted by the "if-onlys" in my life. If only I had a better body. If only this guy liked me. If only I could be better..... If only I could ........ Everybody has those. For whatever reason, Valentine's Day has become a day where God really throws how blessed I am in my face. My friends and family make today great! Single or not, I wouldn't trade the time I spend with God on Valentine's Day for anything!

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, 

and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

(1 John 4:7)

I know what love is because I know God. Nothing else even begins to compare!

Dear World

Originally published January 2012


Dear World,

We, as a generation, accept that you see us the way you want to see us. You label us in the simplest terms. You call us ignorant, self-seeking, and unmotivated. You tell us we're irresponsible for not voting enough or not caring about the world enough. You tell us that we're a generation of rebels who look after nothing but our own interest. You pay millions of dollars every year to find out what we want in technology and how to best sell it to us, but when it comes to something bigger, you count us out.

We accept that you see us the way you want to see us.

We do not, however, accept your labels.

This week, I had the privelege to witness 45,000 college students descend on the city of Atlanta for the Passion 2012 conference and break apart every label that you could throw at them. They walked for miles in the cold to stand in lines and have the opportunity to lift up the name of Jesus. 

They're crazy you say. Just a bunch of college hippies. A bunch of religious freaks. Maybe. But just when you had comforted yourself by saying that they just came to stand around and sing to God, they broke more of your labels.

They did something.

This generation that you complain about saying that we're uneducated and unaware, did something about the problems you love to sit around and talk about. We're a generation that has always known 24-hour news. We hear about the problems of the world all day, everyday. We hear your correspondants standing in the middle of broken places asking "what can be done?" We understand what a broken world looks like.

We did something.

Throughout the week, we were asked to give to end the horror of modern slavery. They asked us to raise $1 million. They told us stories that represented 27 million modern slaves. Then they asked us to give. We know you're broke college students they said. We know that you scrounge around in the sofa cushions looking for pizza money, but we will never count your generation out. They asked us to give.

Not only did a bunch of broke college students give, they did so happily. They stood in thousand people deep lines to give.

So what happens when a bunch of religious, college hippies get behind a cause? What happens when a generation says they will do something now?

They break through your labels.

This generation was not satisfied with giving $1 million. Instead, they gave $3 million to local and international causes. Suddenly, you start to perk up. Suddenly, you start to notice this generation a little more.

The Mayor of Atlanta Kasim Reed and the Leutinant Govenor of Georgia Casey Cagel noticed this generation. These broke college students said they horrified that one of the worst places for human trafficing was not in some foregin country but in Atlanta, Georgia. These students wanted to do something about it. In giving $100,000 to fund a new special victims task force, these students were saying that we were not going to stand by and let this injustice happen.

Are you paying attention yet?

Beyond giving, these students awknoledged the brokenness of the world. They did something more than just give.

They prayed.

They prayed for a broken and dying world. They prayed for mercy. They prayed for healing.They prayed for resoration.

Just a phase you say. Their enthusiasm will die down when they're not surrounded by 45,000 of their friends. Maybe for some that's true. However, if there is one thing that we should come away with from witnessing this, it's to not count this generation out.

You see us how you want to see us. We chose to do something.

You want to know the most surprising thing? Every single one of the 45,000 students will tell you that really, we didn't do anything. We are selfish. We are incapable. Do you remember why I said these students were in Atlanta in the first place?

To lift up the name of Jesus.

On our own, we are incapable. We are selfish.

We are ineffecitve.

When we lift up the name of Jesus and through the power of the Holy Spirit,

we do something.

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they wereuneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.

-Acts 4:13

Daniel- A New Name in Leadership

Originally published December 2011


We can probably all think of several people throughout the Bible that we consider leaders. Some were more effective than others, and I believe we can learn something from each of them.

Daniel has been the subject of many Sunday school lessons throughout my life. I learned about his friends Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego and their close encounter with God in the fiery furnace. Who could forget the story of Daniel and the lion's den? I figured I knew the basics of who Daniel was. However, once I started really studying the book of Daniel, I realized that there was so much more to be learned from this leader.

I was struck by several characteristics of Daniel, as well as a type of "cause-and-effect" relationship he had with God. We first come across Daniel when he is between 14 and 17 years old. He and other Israelite boys are brought to King Nebuchadnezzar's palace to basically be brain-washed in the ways of the Babylonians. This is where Daniel starts to stand out. I want to share some things that make Daniel a great leadership example.

• He held fast to his beliefs even when it meant losing his standing
• In 1:8-16, Daniel refused to defile himself by eating the food provided by the king. This pagan food would have been provided as an honor to the multiple gods of the kingdom. Even though Daniel's action went against the king's command, he kept his allegiance to God.
• As a result of Daniel's faithfulness, God granted him favor in the sight of the chief eunuch. He was provided proper food and was healthier than those who ate the King's food.

• He was equipped for his calling
• In 1:17, we see that God gave Daniel, Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego "learning and skill in all literature and wisdom, and Daniel had understanding in all visions and dreams."
• God had equipped these young men to fulfill his calling on their lives 
• He does the same thing for us!

• He used good judgement when he spoke, even in the midst of a crisis
• In 2:12-16, we see that the King is very angry when none of his magicians, enchanters, or socercers could interpret his dream. He is so angry that he orders all the wise men of Babylon be destroyed (Pretty much he wanted to kill all the smart guys). The king's men are coming after Daniel and his friends with the intent of killing them. Daniel spoke with "prudence and discretion" to the captain of the king's guard. I don't know about you, but prudence (the ability to discipline oneself by the use of reason) and discretion (showing good judgement, the ability to make responsible decisions) would probably not be my first reaction when somebody showed up to kill me!
• Sure enough, Daniel keeps his cool and requests to see the king so that he may interpret his dream (remember how God had gifted Daniel back in chapter 1?)

• He gave God the glory and remained humble
• In preparing to go before the king, Daniel enlists the help of his friends by asking them to "seek mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery"
• When God reveals the dream's interpretation to Daniel, he "blessed the God of heaven." Check out Daniel's praise in 2:20-23, it is a good summary of the theme of the book of Daniel
• When Daniel interprets the dream, the king is amazed. Daniel remains humble and tells the king that the mystery has been revealed to him "not because of any wisdom that I have more than all the living, but in order that the interpretation may be made known to the king."

• Daniel had an "excellent spirit"
• In chapter 6, Daniel was over 80 years old, and had become the favorite of the King (now King Darius by the way). Daniel had become an excellent leader and was known for his wisdom, ability, attitude, and good reputation
• Interestingly, it's at this point that people begin plotting against Daniel and he is thrown into the lion's den. In the quick fall from prominence to being left for dead, Daniel holds strong to God. God honors his faithfulness again by sending an angel to the lion's den and protecting him through this trial.

• Daniel sought God through prayer
• Chapter 9 is probably my favorite part of the book of Daniel. 
• Daniel fervently prayed for God's mercy. There are several beautiful sections of scripture that reflect Daniel's obedience and faith
• Once again, God is faithful and sends the angel Gabriel to speak to Daniel and give him understanding

Fascinating, right? There are so many qualities of Daniel that I strive for. I believe the world is desperate for leaders who will emulate all of these things. I feel a bit like Daniel in chapter 1. I have no idea what God is preparing me for or what he wants to do through me, but I hope to react like Daniel and hold fast to my faith and believe what God tells me. The same God that guided Daniel is still guiding us.

For All the Single Ladies

Originally published November 2011


There's nothing sadder to me than a woman who doesn't embrace her singleness.

Society tells us singleness is a mark of shame. There's something wrong with us if we aren't currently dating someone. For a woman, purity equals prude, and being a prude causes you to become a crazy cat lady. The world wants us to label every relationship. In a relationship? It's complicated? There's probably an app for that. I want to challenge this perception right now.

Let me tell you what being a single girl does not mean. Being a single girl doesn't mean that God hasn't given me a real desire for marriage. It also doesn't mean that I don't still struggle with frustrations when it comes to guys. As people in my life can attest, I vent just as much as the next girl about how confusing relationships are. Being a single girl doesn't mean that there aren't times when I get annoyed with God for the feelings I have and can't seem to get rid of. It doesn't mean that when I care about someone, I don't feel agonized over what might have been. Being a single girl doesn't mean not feeling anything.

Let me tell you what being a single girl does mean. Being a single girl is a gift. It is a rare and (according to statistics) often temporary opportunity. God has put in us in a prime spot. At what other time in our lives, are we free to go out and disciple our girlfriends and not feel concerned about neglecting a husband or other marital obligations. Before all the married ladies get annoyed with me, let me clarify that I realize that you married set go out as well, but I'm sure you would be the first to admit that it's different as a single woman! God wants us to embrace this time of singleness for a reason. 

As a surprising as it might sound, I think Paul makes a good point for the single set.

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

-1 Corinthians 7:32-35

We have been given an opportunity to be holy in body and spirit and fully devoted to the works of the Lord. Take a moment and think about the people in your life. Are there other single women that would benefit from you wisdom? Are there younger women who would benefit from your example? Chances are, God is waiting for you to embrace this time so he can utilize your many gifts and talents for a kingdom cause.

I know this may not be easy to accept. I know some of you are frustrated with God. He's given you this crazy desire for marriage, you've accepted that call, and now he seems so far away. You feel like you will be alone forever. If you're really honest, you've probably been that girl who wanted to throw something at a sickeningly happy couple and spend too much time listening to Adele. Let me encourage you. I don't believe that God has given you these desires to torture you. I honestly believe that he is preparing you for a something more than you ever dreamed of. Ultimately, a God blessed relationship can add tremendous joy to life. However, the greatest love story on the planet could not even begin to compare to the love of Jesus. Cheesy church answer? No...

As a fellow single girl, let me encourage you to tell God how you feel. He already knows anyways! He longs to fill that hole in your heart. He wants you to have LIFE and experience the abundance and joy that he has planned for you. This means running to him instead of a guy. Ask God to help you recognize how much he loves you. Let's begin to change the perception of singleness. Let's embrace the idea of purity in ALL AREAS of our life.

Psalm 26 is such a beautiful declaration of everything that I want to reflect in my own life of singleness. Let's allow this to be our perception.

Vindicate me, O LORD,
for I have walked in my integrity,
and I have trusted in the LORD without wavering.
 Prove me, O LORD, and try me;
test my heart and my mind.
 For your steadfast love is before my eyes,
and I walk in your faithfulness.

 I do not sit with men of falsehood,
nor do I consort with hypocrites.
 I hate the assembly of evildoers,
and I will not sit with the wicked.

 I wash my hands in innocence
and go around your altar, O LORD,
 proclaiming thanksgiving aloud,
and telling all your wondrous deeds.

 O LORD, I love the habitation of your house
and the place where your glory dwells.
 Do not sweep my soul away with sinners,
nor my life with bloodthirsty men,
 in whose hands are evil devices,
and whose right hands are full of bribes.

 But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity;
redeem me, and be gracious to me.
 My foot stands on level ground;
in the great assembly I will bless the LORD.

Disappointment and Frustration?

Is it okay to feel disappointed or frustrated in your walk with Christ? I was talking with a girl this week who was told that God wouldn't want her to be upset, so if she was feeling that way about something, then it must not be what God wanted her to do.

I think anybody who has been living in this world knows that's not true. I struggle with my own feelings of disappointment and frustration. Something happened this week that caused me to just be very disappointed. I thought God was leading me in one direction and I was really excited about it. In one conversation with somebody all my hopes for that situation were completely destroyed. I was disappointed.

As I was praying about it, I told God that I hoped He understood my frustration. I trust Him completely. I know that if this wasn't part of His plan, then there's something else He's preparing me for. But I have a heart. I'm a girl (meaning I have emotions) and I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed and a little discouraged. I was a little ashamed of that. I kept praying about it and I started reflecting on similar biblical instances of disappointment.

She said to them, "Don not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very biterly with me. I went away full and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?"

-Ruth 1:20-21

Therefore I will not restrain my mouth, I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain n the bitterness of my soul.

-Job 7:11

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

- Psalm 13:1-2

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice saying, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" that is, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

-Matthew 27:46

That doesn't seem like a bunch of roses to me! Even Jesus felt tormented as He was on the cross. Walking with Christ is not a magic pill. Troubles, frustrations, disappointments don't just disappear. There are countless examples in the bible where people felt that way. However, there is something that makes this whole post not seem like chronic depression.

And Jesus came and said to them,"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all the I have commanded you. And behold, "I am with you always, to the end of the age."

-Matthew 28:18-20

I love Psalm 13. The first four verses are David lamenting in his frustrations. Verse 5 is what I have to repeat to myself:

"BUT I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me."

-Psalm 13:5-6

Altogether, I know God understands my frustration. I'm certainly not the first person to experience such emotions. The important thing is not that I face these emotions but that I remember God's providence in the midst of them. No matter the situation, there is always a reason to worship Him. 

Women and the Bible

Originally published September 2011


Women in the bible have gotten a bad rap. Paul used to drive me crazy as a young, naive, God-driven female. What's up with all the "don't talk in church" and "no braiding your hair" business? Someone finally told me to slow down and study the things I was fervently denying. Turns out, Paul didn't scare all the ladies away with his masculine ego. I highly recommend David Platt's recent teaching titled "What about women, Paul?" He does an excellent job of explaining those scriptures in their historical context as well as applying them to modern times.

So once we realize that Paul was not a he-man woman hater (just  a little rascals reference there) we really can begin to see the importance of women in Jesus' time and for the church today. 

I was recently reading through the book of Mark. I began reading the passages about the Crucifixion of Jesus and something struck me a little differently.

There were also women looking on from a distance, among whom were Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses, and Salome. When he was in Galilee, they followed him and ministered to him, and there were also many other women who came up with him to Jerusalem.

-Mark 15:40-41

The disciples had all abandoned Jesus in fear. They were scattered. They were in hiding. These women had been with Jesus and the disciples for some time. They had traveled with them caring for all their needs. This was who was with Jesus as he hung on the cross. This group of women continued to care for him. They prepared his body for burial and got quite a surprise when they were on the way to the tomb on the third morning.

This is not a coincidence. This is not a mistake. These women were mentioned by name for a reason. This shows us that women are a valuable part of the kingdom of God. We love, we nurture, we bring beauty to the world unlike anything else. Each woman has a part to play in God's plan. We don't know the extent of what these women actually did. I like to think they were there providing for the disciples physical needs (food, mending clothing, etc) but also their spiritual needs (being a nurturing, kind, confidant). Whatever their service, they meant something.

I told a group of middle school girls a couple of weeks ago, that God made each of them a woman for a reason. I firmly believe that. God has a purpose for each one of us. With our trust in Him and His divine guidance, we can fulfil our purpose (which I suspect is exceptionally beautiful!)