I was excited and nervous about starting seminary classes. It was something that God put on my heart a long time ago. I often wrestle with whether I will ever really feel like I know what I am doing. Every day brings new challenges, and I love it. However, there are still those days where I have to go back to God and ask him to remind me of the calling he placed on my life. I ask him to confirm I am where he wants me to be. Usually, it is simply, “Are you sure, God?” My role in leadership falls right in to the same category. I often ask myself why anybody would want to follow me or what I would ever have to offer them.
After a recent period of time where I felt myself asking God if he was still sure, he gave Philippians 3:12 as a reminder, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” There was certainly no reason for Christ to take hold of me. I did not present with any particularly outstanding qualities that would make him want to add me to the roster. It was simply an act of love from a perfect heavenly father to his often confused and flighty daughter. This verse out of Philippians reminded me that the journey is not over. I do not have to wrestle with whether or not I will ever get this, because I know I will not on this side of Heaven! How liberating it is to know that it is okay not to be perfect! Just like Paul, I just have to continue to press on.
Developing leadership qualities is a never-ending journey. I do not believe there will ever come a time when I finally “arrive” on the leadership scene. Instead, I have to trust that God’s grace is sufficient to cover my weaknesses. I trust that when I pursue him, everything else falls in to place.