"Trust" as a Dirty Word

The Lord of the Rings is one of my favorite works in the literary world. There are so many wonderful things I could talk about, but there is one particular scene that seems particularly relevant.

“But it does not seem that I can trust anyone,' said Frodo.

Sam looked at him unhappily. 'It all depends on what you want,' put in Merry. 'You can trust us to stick with you through thick and thin--to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours--closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo.”

This is one of the most touching scenes of friendship in this epic story. It also perfectly illustrates why people have difficulty trusting leaders.

How can you trust someone who gives you nothing to trust? Why would you trust someone who is not willing to enter the ring and fight alongside you? How can we, as leaders, expect people to trust us if we are not willing to be there for them? Aubrey Malphurs sums it up quite clearly when he says, “Leaders cannot expect followers to trust them simply because they occupy a position of leadership within the church or any other organization.”

Trust requires a track record. Earning someone’s trust requires us to get in the fight and be willing to get messy. I believe it is largely since we have moved away from knowing the people we lead, caring about their lives and struggles beyond what they can do for us, that we have started struggling to earn people’s trust. Just like Merry, we have to be willing to be there for someone through thick and thin.

Are you investing in your followers? Are you walking with them through the good and bad?

Invest in someone!!!

Happy vs. Holy

"It's just time for me to start doing what makes me happy...."

We use this phrase all the time. We end marriages, friendships, jobs, and responsibilities all because, "It's time for me to be happy."

I have been on the receiving end of this on several occasions, but I have also said it myself. The fact is, this line of thinking has the power to destroy our lives.

Just stick with me here.

The truth is, God didn't come for our happiness, but our holiness. Happiness is cheap. Holiness leads to everlasting joy.

Happiness is manipulated by anything from prescription medication to chocolate to "retail therapy." Joy is what enables a family who has just lost their daughter to get up the next morning and say, "God is good." Joy doesn't mask the difficulties of life, but it remembers the one who gives life!

In a culture driven by self-gratification, and self-interest, the struggle between being happy and being holy is never easy. How is holiness ever to win out?

It is not until we begin to understand the cheapness of our happiness, in comparison to the holy joy of Christ, that we will ever be able to chose holiness.

I don't write all this pretending that I have it all figured out. Some of the most frustrating times of my life have been when I had to chose between happiness and holiness. I've walked away from relationships, jobs, or opportunities not because it made me happy (on the contrary, I was usually a wreck), but because Christ called me to seek holiness.

When I start talking like this, the first thing people usually say is something like, "Well God doesn't sound very good then. He just wants me to be miserable."

It's exactly the opposite!!

In John 10:10, Jesus says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

Jesus wants us to have an abundant life!!

God doesn't seek our misery. It's because of his great love for us that he seeks our holiness. We see this at the beginning of humanity with Eve in the garden. She had a choice between eating the fruit, which would make her happy by fulfilling her fleshly desires, or seeking holiness by following God's command. God's command was not meant to make Eve miserable or suck the fun out of her life! On the contrary! By Eve pursuing her happiness, it lead to her death and separation from God, instead of life!

The battle of happiness versus holiness is never easy. It's only by fixing our eyes on Christ that we can hope to prevail.

2013 is still fresh and new. Commit to refocusing on Jesus. Don't come up with a list of resolutions or ways you'll improve yourself. Fix your eyes on the creator and sustainer of everything, and remember that he came that you may have life!

Postcards From Home

I love Christmas!

I love everything about it and have so many wonderful memories of Christmas.

This year, there are still things I love about Christmas, but so many people I know are hurting. They are grieving the death of loved ones or just walking through some tough situations.

With all the joy that Christmas is supposed to be about, it's often overshadowed by so much hurt, what's a heart to do?

If you aren't reading John Piper's advent devotional, "Good News of Great Joy," then you are missing out!

One thing yesterday really stuck out at me:

"Homecomings are a foretaste, and foretastes are good. Unless they become substitutes. O, don't let all the sweet things of the season become substitutes of the final great, all-satisfying sweetness. Let every loss and every delight send your hearts a-homing after Heaven."

So all the things that I love about Christmas are just foretastes of what's coming? That warm, happiness that comes from being home with people I love is just a taste of what Heaven will be like?

That's amazing!

Just think about it. Every delight of this season is just a taste of things to come! WOW!

There's also another side of this for so many. Pain.

What's a heart supposed to do with loss? Pain? How does that send our hearts "a-homing" after Heaven.

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."-Revelation 21:1-6

If that doesn't get you pumped up, you need to check your pulse!!!!!

That's where our hearts long to go! HOME! A home with God where there will be no more pain and sorrow!

If I could write this whole post in all caps, I would!!!

This is Christmas! God sent his son to replace the shadow of God with the real thing! Everything about this season should make our hearts ache for home! The pain and the loss that we face now should make our hearts ache for home!!

Don't lose sight of this! This world is not it. This world is not home. My prayer for you is that you find so much Joy this season! I pray that you delight in all the festive things. Most of all, I pray, that whether you're grieving this season or delighting, your heart would long a little stronger to be home!

Top Posts of 2012

This year seemed to go by so fast! I know it's not quite the end of the year yet, but I couldn't help but share the top posts of 2012. They are varied and probably mostly crazy!

1. A Missional Calling

One of the best things I did this year was to go to Guatemala. I can't even begin to describe the impact this trip had on me. More than a trip, God connected me with the most amazing woman ever!! Colleen Cowart continues to pursue God's calling on her life as a missionary. In this little post, I shared a little bit about my heart for her and her mission.

2. Unleash!

I had so much fun reviewing Perry Noble's book Unleash! I loved being a part of the release of this timely book. We all have things that hold us back in our relationship with Christ. What is God calling you to let go of? How does God want you to live an unleashed life for him?

3. Single Girl Church Problems

This is the post where I really held nothing back. Part frustration, part sarcasm, I had a few moment's of "Oh my gosh, what did I just post?!" What I learned most from the time around writing this post, is that you can't control how weird other people are. What you can do is go out and find people who are less weird. Truth to live by....

4. That 1% Feeling

One of the more vulnerable posts this year, I felt God really dealing with me on that 1% feeling. 99% of the time, I'm fine with the path God had me on. 1% of the time, I face insecurity and fear associated with it. What's God calling me to do during that time? As a single girl, how can I use all the gifts he's given me to advance his church?

5. Jesus Sent Him Away

I was a little surprised to see this posts in the top five of the year. God really had to remind me that we're not called to live in a spiritual huddle. We go to God for fulfillment and then go out to tell people.

I hope this year has been marked by great memorial stones from God. He knows the plans he has for us and he works all things together for the good of those who love him.

Twelve Unlikely Heroes

I recently finished John McArthur’s book “Twelve Unlikely Heroes.” I wanted to share a little about this book because of how it really sparked some great study time for me.

John McArthur is known for his biblical knowledge. His other well-known books in the series include “Twelve Ordinary Men” and “Twelve Ordinary Women.” McArthur has a gift for bringing characters alive. The fact is, these Old and New Testament characters were actual living, breathing, emotional people! They had thoughts, lives, and problems that went along with them. McArthur did a fantastic job pulling some “unlikely heroes” out of the pages of the bible and reminding us of their journeys with God and how He is after using us in the same way. From Enoch to Miriam and Mark and Onesimus, this book covers a broad group of biblical characters.

Granted, McArthur may make some assumptions based on biblical facts, but overall, this book really helped me dig deeper into the lives of some important people of the bible. If you’ve ever studied history, you understand that it’s easy for historical figures to become flat. What I love, is when these important historical figures become real to me. Throughout the entire book, I kept reflecting on the fact that God is the same now as he was then. If you’re looking for a book to help boost your knowledge of biblical characters, then look  no further.

When I Grow Up

Awhile back, when I was helping with a middle small group, there was one particular conversation that I remember well. I was talking with a group of eighth grade girls who were about to start high school. We were just chatting as we waited for their parents to come pick them up. The girls were all talking about starting high school and the things they were excited about and the things that made them nervous (such as being stuffed in a trash can- true story). As I listened to them, I immediately was transported back to my eighth grade mind. I remember what it was like to start high school. There were so many things ahead! I had a very clear picture of what my life was going to look like by the time I graduated from high school AND college!

As I stood there thinking about that vision, I realized I was way off!

Why are we such stubborn creatures? We all have visions of what our lives will look like in the future. It usually involves a fantastic body, someone gorgeous standing next to you, two kids, a dog (that makes 2.5 kids total), a great house, and no money problems!

I don't know one person who has that life. Sure, maybe you have 2.5 kids and a great house, but somehow the vision of our lives always falls short.

So why do we hold on to it so hard?

I have found that we are so quick to tell God that we surrender our lives to him, but when it comes to our future, we hide that away like Gollum does with the one ring. (That's a little nerd metaphor there in honor of the release of The Hobbit)

Nothing about my life resembles what I had planned. Am I okay with that? Do I trust God's plan enough to let go of my vision for my life?

I certainly think we would agree he is qualified to prepare a plan for us (being the creator of the universe and all).

So what does he have to say?

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

-Isaiah 55:8-9

 

You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

-Psalm 139:1-3

 

But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?

-Romans 9:20-21

God knows a little bit about what's going on in our lives. He has his own vision for our lives.

Someone very wise told me that when our dream dies, God is able to birth his dream in us.

When we stubbornly hold on to some idea about how are lives should look, we end up saying things like, "What am I doing with my life?" "There has to be something else." "Why can't I just get my life together."

It takes daily surrender, but when we fully allow God to direct our lives and replace our vision with his, we find peace. We can fearlessly face the future.

There are times when this can be extremely difficult for me. There are things about my life that I get insecure about because I thought it would work out one way and it didn't. I jump right in to "What did I do?" and "Is there something about me?"

The truth is that I only have to know that God is good, faithful, and sovereign to face the future. I have never looked back at my life and thought my plan would have been better. God has never let me down. I am his daughter. He is a perfect father. He loves me. I want his plan for my life.

Jesus Sent Him Away

Sometimes I find myself asking God why I couldn't just do something easier. Why does it have to be so complicated? Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't it just be me, Him and my bible alone on a desert island?

There are those days when you sit down and read the bible and things are at peace, but as soon as you get out the door, the world is there waiting. Whether it's frustrations, insecurities, selfishness, or just struggling to interact with people, it always seems like it would be easier to just be alone with God.

I was reading in Luke 8 today, where Jesus casts out a demon from a man. That in itself is a wild thing, but it gets even stranger. Starting in verse 38 it says:

The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.

 

I sat for awhile today thinking about the first part of those verses. Why wouldn't Jesus let the man go with him? I could kind of empathize with this guy. He had been literally battling a demon inside of him for who knows how long. Then, Jesus comes along and releases him from that bondage. That guy probably feels amazing right now!! The weight and struggle finally gone! Of course he wants to go with Jesus! Going with Jesus means security! It means that if anything happens to him again, Jesus is right there to help him! Staying with Jesus probably means a lot of comfort to this guy!

 

But Jesus sent him away.

 

On my own I fail at a lot of things. I'm a horrible friend, a selfish child, and a prideful woman. When I'm alone, spending time with God, I feel at peace. I go through phases where I just want to run to my fortress of solitude and avoid other people completely. I have to force myself to interact with other people! Staying with Jesus means security and comfort to me. I can relate to the guy in Luke 8.

 

But there's something Jesus had to teach both of us. We're not called to live in a spiritual huddle! He sent the man back to the town to tell how much God had done for him.

 

Yes, we have to spend time with God. He is the wellspring of life for us! We have to be filled up by him!

 

Then we have to go out.

 

We are called to go out and tell others. We can't stay on our desert island.

 

Honestly, this is hard for me. I have to ask God to give me a heart for people. I have to ask him to help me not get focused on fixing myself but on following him! I'm learning to be okay with asking him for that!

 

It seems like such a simple idea, but I know there are times in my own life when the temptation is to isolate myself. To not be in fellowship with other believers or even tell others about Christ. That's when we have to rely on his grace to be sufficient to cover our weaknesses. While I may struggle to serve people, Christ served them even in death and I know he will give me the grace to love them.

 

I'll end this by saying that I don't have it all together. I fail at a lot of things. I get down on myself for not being able to "get it together" or for continually bringing problems to people. It's a continual process for me to surrender myself and my struggles to Jesus. The only time I ever have anything to write about is when God has brought me through something. I want him to redeem my struggles for his glory. That's why it's not always easy. That's why it's not always comfortable. It's not about me!