Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Am I Enough?

I've talked about love before (usually to my own embarrassment). This time, I just wanted to share something that God has put on my heart in the hope that it can inspire you.

If you're like me, you have several friends on facebook, twitter, etc. that are in the early stages of dating. We all know that couple, the ones who share their love with each other and all their friends on facebook. The ones who love to love each other and make sure the rest of the world knows it. We all have somebody like that. 

The truth is they used to annoy me. Their "gushiness" would cause me to roll my eyes and quickly change the page. It wasn't a question of whether I liked the couple, whichever one it was at the time. I'm sure that's probably what kept me from blocking them completely. Honestly, it wasn't them, it was me.

Whenever I saw a couple in the midst of their dating-honeymoon period leaving little sentiments on each other's walls, it would make my heart ache a little. That further annoyed me because I've always been outwardly fine with the way my life was. I'm the one who's always telling girls not to look for validation in men. 

"Is it me?" I would think to myself. I would start thinking of where I was in my life (a twenty-something, college grad) and the fact that I've never really been in love, and I'd get a little frustrated. Yes, everyone says there's someone out there and I really believe them, but that frustration still creeps in. 

One night in particular, all those insecurities came back after seeing another "love exchange." I shook my head and allowed myself to get annoyed. All of sudden, God said

"I love you. Aren't I enough for you?"

Completely true! He kind of caught me off guard actually. Of course I knew He loved me, but did I allow myself to forget?

I smiled. I'm not ashamed to admit (and if you know me at all you shouldn't be surprised) that I teared up a bit. How quickly I forgot that the God who created everything (I mean EVERYTHING), including all the things I find beautiful, treasures me above all of it.

I spent some time talking to God. I've prayed about these feelings before, but this time I just wanted to talk. It may sound silly and I can't begin to describe it but I spent time allowing His love to fill me up.

I really treasure the time I spend with God. I'm not saying that my own insecurities don't try to resurface again, it's a constant process of surrender. I can say that when they do, I try more and more to stop and listen to God tell me I'm beautiful, wonderfully made, and His true delight.

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