I think anybody who has been living in this world knows that's not true. I struggle with my own feelings of disappointment and frustration. Something happened this week that caused me to just be very disappointed. I thought God was leading me in one direction and I was really excited about it. In one conversation with somebody all my hopes for that situation were completely destroyed. I was disappointed.
As I was praying about it, I told God that I hoped He understood my frustration. I trust Him completely. I know that if this wasn't part of His plan, then there's something else He's preparing me for. But I have a heart. I'm a girl (meaning I have emotions) and I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed and a little discouraged. I was a little ashamed of that. I kept praying about it and I started reflecting on similar biblical instances of disappointment.
She said to them, "Don not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very biterly with me. I went away full and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?"
Therefore I will not restrain my mouth, I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain n the bitterness of my soul.
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
- Psalm 13:1-2
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice saying, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" that is, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
That doesn't seem like a bunch of roses to me! Even Jesus felt tormented as He was on the cross. Walking with Christ is not a magic pill. Troubles, frustrations, disappointments don't just disappear. There are countless examples in the bible where people felt that way. However, there is something that makes this whole post not seem like chronic depression.
And Jesus came and said to them,"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all the I have commanded you. And behold, "I am with you always, to the end of the age."
I love Psalm 13. The first four verses are David lamenting in his frustrations. Verse 5 is what I have to repeat to myself:
"BUT I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me."
Altogether, I know God understands my frustration. I'm certainly not the first person to experience such emotions. The important thing is not that I face these emotions but that I remember God's providence in the midst of them. No matter the situation, there is always a reason to worship Him.